Cry Me a River

38 weeks but feeling more like 138. My body is full to bursting. I hurt when I stand, sit, and lie. My lower back is aching, I spent Thursday in bed with flu-like symptoms (only getting up to go to work at 5), and I might be the most emotionally-fragile woman in the land.

I spent most of Tuesday in tears. I’m having a difficult time understanding how seemingly reasonable people can be so unreasonable. Two women from my neighborhood came by and lectured me on my decision to marry a Muslim. I’ve been shocked and overwhelmed by the stupid questions people have asked me since moving back to the US: Is he a fundamentalist? Does he let you practice your religion? Aren’t you afraid he’ll kidnap your children? Is he a terrorist? I finally burst on Tuesday and told the women they were no longer welcome in my home.

Unfortunately, I can’t tell E the horrible things people say because I don’t want him to resent my country or “Christians” or think all Americans are so hateful. What breaks my heart the most is the fact that I am married to the sweetest, gentlest, most loving man I have ever met.

Just this week, I found mean-cat Tarzan wrapped in E’s prayer rug because he was afraid the cat would be cold.

E helped me babysit my two nephews on Tuesday and spent the entire time playing with them, reading them books, and doing his best to make them happy.

And on Thursday, when he came home from school and found me sick in bed, he just lay beside me and hugged me while I cried. I am, without a doubt, the luckiest woman in the world.

Okay, time to wipe up my tears. Life is not all emotional tragedy. We had an ultrasound on Tuesday, and Baby B is actually head down. He just hasn’t dropped yet. So, hopefully at some point there will be an addition to our family.

On Friday, my sweet sister-in-law, sister, and nieces threw me a baby shower at the Chocolate Dessert Café. What could be dreamier? I had a great time seeing friends from growing up and from previous jobs. I was overwhelmed by how generous everyone was (one friend commented that I’m lucky to be having my first when people actually have money to spend). The hit present of the night was definitely the snotsucker. E wanted to try it out on me when we got home, but I think I’ll let him be in charge of sucking Baby B’s snot when the time comes instead.



Yesterday, after a day of work, I took E to a dance concert. Turks love dancing, and E is really into urban dancing. Unfortunately, the concert was a mixed bag. Most of the acts were not, as E said, “professional,” but we did enjoy a few.

This next week should be pretty exciting—and hopefully unemotional. I have work meetings, doctor appointments, visiting teaching, and lots of cleaning. Most importantly, though, it is the Sacrifice Holiday all week, so I hope E can celebrate and feel connected to his family, culture, and religion.