Baby Balcı

Before I start my Istanbul report, I had better make my official blog announcement: like good Turks/Utahans, E and I are expecting our first baby.

I am 17 weeks pregnant, and, yes, we have been married for 17 weeks. However, for some reason I still don’t understand, two of those weeks I wasn’t actually pregnant yet. Go figure. Because of my age and a bicycle accident E had as a boy, we were convinced it would not be easy to conceive. And after watching so many couples struggle with infertility, I could not justify waiting.

Of course, I never thought it would only take two weeks. I was sure well into April that I was not pregnant. I had terrible cramps, which I now know is a sign of pregnancy, and knew there was no possibility of pregnancy. E, of course, was sure I was pregnant from the beginning, and I have never seen a happier man than when our results came back positive.

E is so excited about this baby, and I’m sure he was disappointed when all I could think about was jobs, money, and childcare. As time has passed, though, my joy has matched his.

Fortunately, the first trimester has ended, and I am quickly developing amnesia. At the time, though, I was surprised by how difficult pregnancy is. I was exhausted, nauseous, and in a lot of pain. My teeth hurt, my chest hurts, my back hurts, and I’ve developed a super sense of smell. I’m sure people told me all these symptoms, but I just didn’t get it.

The exhaustion surprised me most, and I really thought my 13-hour teaching days were going to kill me, but I survived. Fortunately, I have the most loving, tender, and supportive husband. I can see how an early pregnancy can strain a relationship. I am incredibly emotional and can cry uncontrollably at any moment. I’ve also really struggled with being pregnant far from family and in a foreign medical system (the university hospital refused to see me because I’m not a Turk). Fortunately, I really believe this pregnancy has just brought E and me closer as a couple and strengthened our marriage.

E was sure from the beginning that we’re having a boy. I believed him because he knew we were pregnant weeks before I and because I’ve always thought I’d have girls. At our last appointment, at 15 weeks, the doctor declared we are having a boy. I am skeptical since it is so early, but E is over the moon. I am seeing more and more that Turkey has a culture that values eldest sons. (For example, E’s grandfather divorced his first wife because she was “barren.” He divorced his second wife (E’s grandmother) after they had three daughters. His third wife gave him five sons.) I worry so much that our baby will be spoiled beyond belief and develop a huge ego. I will have to work hard to keep him grounded.

As for a name, E’s heart is set on Akil Murat. Akil is Arabic and from the Koran. Murat is his late father’s name. Clearly, in English, Akil has problems. I’ve convinced his family and friends it should be Adem (Adam in English). I haven’t convinced E yet. He is considering Lut (Lot). I almost got him to agree to Luk (Luke) because it is a prophet’s name—just not a prophet in the Koran.

The name game is going to be a long one. But more than anything, I just hope this baby is going to be healthy—he’s a little small at this point—and we are going to be decent parents.